Is it set in stone?  You know, are you an optimist or a pessimist, a realist or an idealist? Do you see the forest or the trees? The list goes on. People tend to shrug their shoulders and say, “Well, I’m just a…[insert label]” and it seems to justify their attitude, their perspective and take on life.

Now me, I know I’m a bit of a high-strung person - dramatic - I take things high and low. When I’m high, I’m high, when I’m low, I’m low. My mother used to say an old poem to me.

There once was a girl
with a little bitty curl
right in the middle of her forehead,
and when she was good
she was very very good,
but when she was bad
she was horrid.

It’s pretty much a good sum-up of my personality. I tend to take the extremes. But am I stuck that way? Are we stuck with these things, the way we look at life and our perspectives, or can we choose them?

I’ve had several opportunities lately to affirm that we CAN change our perspective and sometimes we should deliberately do so. Last Sunday, for example, I was driving a 7 hour drive back from a wedding with both my boys by myself. They are 3 years old and 3 months old. So, let me sum up, a toddler and a newborn on a 10 hour trip (with all the stops for kids, it was 10 hours) to a big city I’m not confident driving in. Under the best of circumstances, it was going to be a scary trip for me, so of course, when my 3 month old cried for 20 minute blocks of time most of the way back, my 3-year-old threw up 3 times and I was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic on a toll way that is supposed to be a time-saver, what was left of my peace of mind disappeared. I commenced upon some hysterical praying (which made a deep impression upon my 3-year-old) and then what was I supposed to do? Completely let myself go and start sobbing and release myself to a familiar thought of “Why do only bad things happen to me?”

I almost went that way, but a split-second decision led me to a different action. I decided to purposefully show my kids that it’s alright when bad things happen. You can choose to get all worked up and negative over it, or you can turn around and meet the challenge with peace. I started saying, “It’s alright. It’s just puke. Puke washes off, right? Everything will be OK.” I was talking more to myself than the kids at that point. Then I started making up silly songs about the puke and the road and whatever popped into my head and soon my 3-year-old was in the back seat laughing and singing with vomit dribbled down his chin and covering the front of him, happy as a clam. A diaper change and a soothing time of holding my 3-month-old calmed him down and we were on the road again, and it really was alright, and everything really did wash off just fine.

Again, just yesterday, I lost my wallet at K-mart. We thought perhaps it had been stolen. We were going to have a fun outing in the evening, but instead we got to call our credit card companies, put a fraud alert on my SS# and drive to 3 different police stations to file a report about it. I was not happy. There’s a physical reaction that comes to events like that, that sinking, fluttery feeling, and I was not digging it. I was thinking, “Why is another bad thing happening to me?” But see, after all that, a guy drove to our door that evening and handed me my wallet. He’d found it in the parking lot. In the middle of a huge city, a good Samaritan finds my purse and drives to my house to give it to me. What are the chances?

Do you think God is trying to teach me a lesson?

I’ve been thinking lately, everyone has good and bad circumstances come their way. How do I see the events of my life? Do I remember only the bad, or do I focus on the good? Do I lose my peace easily at the first sign of trouble or do I choose to embrace it, like a slippery pig? I’m afraid too often I’ve dwelt on the negative and not pursued peace. More even, I’ve told myself that only bad things happen to me. This is far from true. What does this perspective do to me, mentally, physically, and spiritually? What does this teach my children? How does it affect my family, friends, and coworkers? I can see how keeping or giving up this lie will have ripple effects far beyond myself.

Often in life, I stand looking at a side road of wholeness and clear sight. If I stay on the path I’m on, I can continue in denial and brokenness, but if I choose… if I choose to STOP, think about my direction and deliberately change it, it will take me closer to where I really want to go, to who I really want to be. The thing is, just when I’ve made the right choice, here comes another one. It’s a hopeful thing to see opportunities to grow and learn, but it’s a hard thing. It truly is exercise of the spirit, just like Peter talks about in his second book.

Well, it’s 1:45 in the morning where I am! I may have to restrict my blogging to weekdays, as weekends we stay up even later (just finished a rousing game of Cranium with friends), but it’s been refreshing to write out some of my thoughts. It helps solidify them. Thanks for tuning in to the thinkstation for a brief time. Good-night to all y’all.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 31st, 2006 at 2:42 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.